Feel like I've been stuck in a rut for the past few weeks. Like, in a lull in the aftermath of a disaster? Didn't want to dwell on my circumstances, didn't want to act as though anything was wrong. Started unconsciously building up another wall around my heart. People can come into the castle but they can't enter into the inner sanctum. And I guess even God was locked out. Didn't think that I pushed Him out even though I was ignoring Him and I think He got quite annoyed so He knocked some sense into me. And gently chastised me that He ain't gunnah go nowhere.

:)

I've been watching natm2. dad got the vcd and i watched it twice already, but I still haven't gotten bored of it :D amelia earhart rocks! i dunno if that's how she's like in real life, but in the movie, she's spunky :D she knows what she wants, and she isn't afraid to go after it. doesn't let circumstances get her down and doesn't let people dictate what she should do. i think her mannerism and all is really really cooooool! hahaha.

Amelia Earhart: Crimey we've been jimmy-jacked!
Larry Daley: Jimmy-jacked?
Amelia: It's how I speak!
Larry: Yeah but it sounds made-up, even for you..
Amelia: (flatly) Oh no, our path has been blocked by bad guys. Where's the fun in that? (punch Larry in the stomach)

It's kind of weird though. I thought it was quite obvious Amelia's growing affection for Larry, but it wasn't mutual even though it was supposed to be? So kind of weird. Even at the end of the show when Larry saw an Amelia lookalike and went up to her. And the funny thing is that, every guy they spoke to really took to her, Napoleon, the Cupids, Abraham Lincoln, but she only saw Larry. Heh. So sweet :)
Thumbs-up for Amy Adams. She played the character well. Plus I like her museum patron look (as compared to the Amelia Earhart outfit throughout the movie). I don't know how she does it but her eyes are like, shiny all the time. Intense stare. Uber cool.

And the other characters! Jedidiah and Octavius. "Chest bump?" It's really heart-warming to see both of them so supportive of one another :) And Sacajawea ("Won't shouting 'Attack!' alert the enemies that we're attacking?"), Ivan the Terrible, Napoleon, Al Capone (sp?) (he's the only one that actually looks like a slick bad guy. The others are just goofy :P), Able the monkey! And Einstein bobbleheads! "That's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, we like it, uh-huh uh-huh!" hahahahaha!
Nicholas is a cool son :D

I'm going to watch it again hahahaha :P

Anyway I'm down to my last 2 papers, yay! printing my PE notes/slides now. I can't wait for the 3-day break. I'm so gunnah sleep in and hit the libraryyyyyyyy! I wanna watch (500)Days of Summer! Everytime I hear the ad come up at the MRT platform, I'll rush over to the screen to watch it. "Summer is smart, single and sexy!" HAHAHAHA :P Oh and i think I'll be going to school with my parents, lol. Probably only for one day, and hopefully I don't fall asleep like the last time :(

major announcement: I got married to xue ying the weasel last Friday at 10am. It was a closed event. Don't fret if you weren't invited because you'd be sitting in the midst of chemistry notes and textbooks :)
yes, we're planning to have our honeymoon in the library but seeing how our exams are going to be over, i think we can only spend it in taman negara, trekking and shooting each other with water. HAHAHAHA.

okay i'm being lame. going off to study now baiiiii!

i hope i know how to do amath and pe tmrw gah!

p/s: I GOT A HUG YSTDDDDDDDDDDDD :D thank you!
p/p/s: Sister Shir is a nurse :D
p/p/p/s: I love my cell and I love my jie, heh.
p/p/p/p/s: I hope my dad can bring my sister and I out for frozen yoghurt today! yuuuuum!

MS OH SAYS THAT DRINKING MILK EVERYDAY WILL MAKE US FAT EVENTUALLY :(

*waddles off to drink a cup of cold milk*

---
FTLY ended on Friday :( It was a really weird ending (not abrupt though) but it was sweet :) This show is just bittersweet, srsly. chen xin yi and ji cun xi are just softies for each other.

cun xi: the doctor says that you have a growth in your stomach.
xin yi: what kind of growth?
cun xi: i don't know. but the doctor said that the growth will jump out of your stomach in 10 months time!

xin yi: now i know how much you love me. you love kids but you were still willing to marry me even though you knew that i could not conceive.

heh, so sweet.

but i was quite irritated with cun xi when he told xin yi off and stalked off to bed. likeee, she's obviously so upset and you went and made her cryyyyyyyyyy! (heart pain) eejit. i could understand why he was annoyed with her but stilllllll.
heh dylan's still da bestzxzxzx.

the pregnancy part was... xin yi and cun xi was the mushiest couple lollll. JI NIAN RI (for everyday that xin yi and cun xi are tgth, awww), whattheheck hahahahaha. and AN TAI SUI, WU MEI ZHI. omg funny group leh they, come up with all these weird names.

anyway, i (L)(L)(L) the show. i'm so tempted to get the vcd so that i can watch it whenever i want to~ esp. if i'm overseas. i think ms goh's clone is a really good actress (plus she's pretty). the cast is awesome :D

and i miss the show already! :( i wanna watch more shows with chen qiao en, baron chen, ethan ruan and bianca bai in it! oh, and the grandmother, mother, sister, anson whatever. super funny cast. go watch all the behind-the-scene actions! i keep cracking up everytime i watch 'em ;)

i wanna get a jiangjunbao keychain and the vcd!

(L)(L)(L)

---
ystd I talked to God and He asked me a question.

I stammered and stuttered but didn't give a direct answer.

sigh.

I think chen xin yi and her mother have a good relationship. It's so heart-warming to see the both of them so close and unafraid of being open about their feelings with each other. Heh, the mother was like, "I already said that I won't cry but I'm crying now!" :)

xin yi looks super cute when she was so excited about her future with cun xi (awww!). She just kept blushing when fengjiao read her messages aloud and couldn't stop yakking about it to the nurse. She was just giggling like crazy okay. Seriously nuts :P but she looks really nice when she smiles.

but then comes the crying part. super heart-pain. couldn't stop lor :/ it's so hard to watch her forcing a smile/trying not to cry for cun xi and then pretended that she really liked dylan more than cun xi. and it was just as hard to watch cun xi desperately finding all ways to persuade her to stay.

I think dylan is really observant and sensitive. he obviously could tell that something really bad had happened on chen xin yi and because of that, she did not feel worthy of cun xi anymore. cun xi was so frantic he didn't really notice.

heh i think tmrw's episode's gunnah be quite exciting. chen xin yi looks so glam to go sign her divorce papers (not exactly divorce papers). and all the chickens and the big signs with "I (HEART) YOU, Z" posters. whooooo~

---
i think that appearance-wise, jie and i look nothing alike (i remembered once when we were on a holiday, i told a total stranger that we were sisters and asked if we looked alike, and he was like, ohkay.. I take that as a no.) but our personalities are really similar.

jie: eh i wanna go home now. you going home?
me: yah
jie: okay we go home together.
*both of us stand up at the same time*
totally uncanny timing. heh.

i tried the left/right brain thing with her. Kind of failed because she realised she felt comfortable folding her arms both ways even though i said that it was based on her immediate reaction-.- But I think she'd have the same result as me :D

I don't want friday to comeeeeeeeeeeee :(

Actually right, I also don't know why I'm so excited about today. Today 22nd September only what, nothing special at all. Get excited also for nothing, plus kana bullied by MS PAMELIA GOH. Yupp, nothing special about today ;)

Anyway I got an sms from Ms Cynthia Lim :) :) :) Feel more encouraged now!

me: *pushes door open*
terence: *walks in after* CHENNNN XINNNNNNNNN YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~
*wei di's group stares and ms goh super paiseh*
*my group burst out laughing, followed by wei di's group. only the RGS girl was staring at us like we're a bunch of crazy people*
LOL! Then after that we all start reanacting the funny scenes and kept making a lot of noise, hahahahaha! yay my group! (L)

Hehehehe, my cafe! :P

so that means that tmrw is the 22nd! whoohoo! :D

taken by kristybee

I was just thinking about my future (again) this morning and I felt this sudden, almost irresistable urge to forget about all nicely laid out (but messed up by some however well-meaning people *glares*) plans and instead, save up to set up a cafe. A glass one with white-tiled floors and strings of coloured lights (yeah I know, tacky. so maybe not all the time) all over the place. Wooden furnitures? Maybe a dark marble counter with high chairs. Maybe I'd put a set of toys on it :P

Doesn't have to be big. In a cosy suburb area (City of Bath! *swoons*) in UK. It'd be just me and a few working in the cafe (Ideal: three more female and two guys. good no. for shifts. we'll be one gang of fun-loving people). I'll probably sit at one of the tables (haven't decided what kind) when the cafe is quite empty, thinking up of various recipes and menu (also haven't decided if I would be a cook/baker/waitress). Or we can have a once-a-month meeting to brainstorm. Colourful macarons, brownies, cheesecake, spaghetti, pie, garlic bread, hot chocolate with a sinful amount of whipped cream, coffee.. I think it would be nice to have cups like the picture above. I like the colour :) Brown, hot pink, lime, polka-dotted, striped..

No dress code for the staff (not workers *hints at hj*). So we can come to work and share cute/funky fashion tips with one another (girls with girls ;) the guys would probably just roll their eyes at us). 

Oh, and books! A shelf with books.

It shall be far/near enough from my apartment for me to cycle/walk :D (to make up for all these years I didn't cycle thanks to a thief! >:O)

Okay so not totally glass cafe. Probably have to buy a small piece of land away from the main crowd to do so (maybe just a large glass front :) ). I'm terrified of being in a place with glass displays all over the place so God knows why I want a glass cafe. I've actually been to a (two-storey) glass cafe in Israel, Tel Aviv (with a cute, vintage, cinnamoroll-ish mini-hotel opposite. don't ask why cinnamoroll.). Really classy. I also saw a small glass cafe in shanghai once (opposite the Oriental Pearl Tower I think, across the river). It had a cosy feeling to it (and it had coloured lights, heh!). Totally gorgeous :)

And you know what's the best thing about this? It's all how I want it to be like. I mean, I can imagine how absolutely horrendous it'd be starting up all these, but I think the end product will be worth it.
Plus I don't have to get a degree for it. The only reason I'd have to is to get a good job (it just all boils down to this right?) to save up enough.

But the very flaw of this plan is that, I'd never get to work with autistic savants. On my days off or during breaktime, I can help out at a creche but it's not exactly the same right? How many autistic savants do you actually see in creches? Not that I mind working with normal little kiddos- it would be heavenly as well- but.. I don't know.

I want both just as much. Sighzx.
But first I have to get through the next one+ year. Then I'll see what I'll do from there.

God, help :(
Your will, not my, be done. Help me to see what it is.

(edited)
I went to united square and the starbucks outside it is personification of my dream cafe. not as high but just as cosyyy.
oh and inside, there's a shop called meir michri. it has the miniature version of what i want!! me want but it's suuuuuper expensive :( but i got something cute from inside there for somebody's birthday :D

Because yesterday was such a strenuous day, I woke up this morning to find myself aching all over, esp. my right shoulder. i had trouble sitting down (when i stand up, it also hurts-.-), moving my arms. andddd my dear mother knowing how i'm in such an agony, asked me to reach up to get a bottle of sauce for her from the cupboard. my arm couldn't straighten. hahahahaha!

but it feels kind of shuang at the same time. like whoohoo, i really did put in effort!
or maybe it just means that my body is out of shape ._. haven't been trying to smash (badminton) nor rolling on the floor (volleyball) for a looooong time. you know when i was playing badminton and had to try and prevent the shuttlecock from touching the ground, i was so tempted to gundi hehe.

terence's new hair cut is cool. i know he's tryna be the guy version of chen xin yi! *claps*
he demanded that i stopped laughing at him but it's so funny. guy version of chen xin yi. *burst out laughing*

thank you dear ms chionh for being so thoughtful :)

So please stop piling so much work and stress on me all at one go. Don't forget, thanks to that stupid assessment today, I missed a lot of lessons. I'm already going to have a lot of trouble catching up on that (and it SO happen that those subjects are my weakest ones!) and you have to add to that by getting me to do the stupid training layout? Like, hello, I believe this is not my responsibility. It's not like I'm free to come up with this okay. You're being really unfair to me in case you haven't realised.

Can I once again say how much I thank God for such a great sister?

I feel annoyed for jie-.-
You know, for having such an amazing sister, I feel bad for not being the support she needs like she is to me. Sigh.

God, help me to fixed my eyes on You and not the circumstances around me. Things are getting really, really hard and I don't think I can go on with my own strength so help me rely on You instead.

(edited)
I was on facebook when I saw jermaine's status.
"I will never have to worry what tomorrow will bring, 'cuz my faith is on solid rock, I AM COUNTING ON GOD! :D ¢¾"
I just know it's a reminder from God to count on Him :) Amen!

HI KYYYYYYY, HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYY :D

thank you for being one of the bestest friends/people I could have ever asked for/met and for all the times we have staring competitions at each other to see who would break down and laugh first :P
so, @messycheryl, I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY AND HAPPYBIRTHDAY! :D
(L)!
p/s: I wanted to put the picture of you eating squid hahahaha, but i shall save it for another time ;)

---
me: Hi jie hi jie hi jie!! :D
jie: Hi long bean!

I never had a co-form teacher before, so I think having a co-form is cooooool. Especially if she's from Canada! Whoohoo.

I think that sometimes we've got to be a little bit selfish.

you've got me standing at the bottom of this mountain that we've made, (mountain of regrets)
and the ground is shaking from all of our mistakes.