Still reeling from the fact that I met David Harris on Sunday. Isn't he dashing? He was so lovely. It was absolute pleasure talking to him; even though he was rushing, he still took time to talk to Ariel and I. Ahhh :) I honestly think he's just the handsomest.

Other than meeting David Harris, this week has been dreary. Dance on Monday was fun though. But I'll be meeting some of my favourite people the next few days so I can't wait! And AGM this Saturday which I am really, really, really nervous about. Ha.

K, I need to do my assignments already. Can't wait for this semester to be over.



Love these two.

Spent my new year's eve and day with my lovely friends. There's something about my church friends that, as loud and crazy they are, I feel this inexplicable tranquility.

Pastor Dom says that we need to cement our faith by remembering the goodness of God, so these are what I'm grateful for in 2011:



1. Family.

This year has truly been a trying time for this family. I know everybody says that every year and blah, but I can't remember wanting to run away more. But the truth is, I can never bring myself to do it because my heart will always be with this family. May we work harder to be a better person to each other in 2012 :)

2. Best friends

My safety net. (Not-so) Random messages streaming in to encourage. How did I get so blessed?

3. Cell group + Esther + Janet + Shana

This group of people will always have a special place in my heart. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with them this year -- and I pray that I won't spend any less this year -- but they are always so accepting of me, and so I'm really grateful. They make me laugh so much.

4. School friends

No one would have tolerated my nonsense like they did. For that, I am thankful, because I know what a terrible excuse of a human being I am.

5. My dancers

My soul sisters. They were my sanity when I was struggling with school.

6. Irene Douma

Such a sweet old soul. I miss her.

7. Anna bee

My go-to person when Xy, Ky and Abigail weren't around. Even though she's so busy herself, she always makes time for me. She makes me smile :)

8. Sissy bee

I will never not be grateful for her.

9. WICKED :D

Love. I don't care if people say that this musical is overrated -- I love every single moment of it. Yay for not scrimping on tickets! Haha. It is a very beautiful show with the insanely talented and gorgeous Jemma Rix and Suzie Mathers. I can't wait to catch it again. AND I can't wait to meet Jem Rix and Suzie Mathers next Sunday! (Hopefully! *cross fingers*)

Of course there are other people I'm grateful for, like Kenneth (you can be SUPER irritating but I thank God that you're always here for me), Javier (TV BUDDY :D) and Felicia. Raquel, Denise and Jade are three of the loveliest people I've come to know this year and their messages keep me going. I have not been happy but I was very, very blessed so I want to thank God for that.

I tremble when I think of what lies ahead in 2012 but I pray that nonetheless, it will be a good year -- one of growth and maturation. Here's to a better year and a better me!

Keep your heart where your feet are.



---
P/s: Just want to share a video that has been on replay the past few days. Jemma Rix is gorgeous and so incredibly talented.

"As long as you feel like you're doing the right thing, then in the long run that's all that's gonna matter. Because you're the one that has to lie awake at night alone in bed and think about your life. And if you have compromised your life, you'll know."

-- Ingrid Michaelson

"At the end of the day when I crawl into bed and all the lights go out, my thoughts can finally rise to the surface. Yes, I'm a little bruised, slightly broken, and permanently scarred but I'm still here aren't I? I'm still fighting, I'm still waking up everyday to go through it all over again. This life may be hard as hell but it's still a gift and I'm going to live every moment of it."

I've posted this quote before and I'm posting it again. This is to remind myself that I'm not dead yet. And as long as I'm not dead, I can overcome.

Although it is frickin' annoying when people keep piling pressure and responsibilities on me as though I don't torture myself enough already.

This tweet saved me.

"This is just a tool. It's a hunk of steel. It has no magical powers and the person that fired it isn't some all-powerful god. He's just a guy with a gun. Just like the guy we're hunting now. And like every other bad guy, he's damaged goods."
"So am I."
"That's right. And that's okay. You think it's a weakness? Make it a strength. It's a part of you. So use it."

"You don't need to prove yourself to others," she said, staring directly at me. I stuffed more waffle in my mouth, pretending I didn't know that even though she wasn't talking about me, she was talking to me.

Made a wrong turn, once or twice,
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright;
Welcome to my silly life.

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood,
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated:
Look, I'm still around.

Question: What did improv teach you?
Tina Fey: You lose your fear of failure in a great way if you really improvise a lot, because you mostly fail when you improvise. And it's freeing to fail and realize that you didn't die.

Ingrid Michaelson's 'Ghost' official lyrics video! Ugh, she's so beautiful. Can't wait for the official music video to come out :)



---

My homegirls <3

Hung out with xy, ky and abigail today. It's so odd to see their names together when they hadn't been in so long. Yet it's as though my fingers are conditioned to reach out to these letters. It feels safe and good. Being around them feels safe and good.

I've not felt so... normal for a long while. All we did was have lunch, watched a movie and walked around in the most unhappening place in town. But it was exactly what I needed: spending time with my favourite girls, doing mundane things like we used to. My heart jolts in excitement and calms down at the same time.

10 months. My insides feel like broken glass when I think about the 3000 miles between us. We used to spend everyday together. I've lost count how many times I gulped back the urge to pack up and move to Australia with xy. Now that she's back, all I can think of is that all is right with the world. I miss her so much.

And my two beautiful girls, ky and abigail. Words do not do justice to how thankful to God I am for them. My heart goes AKLSDJLAKJS when I think of them because I love them so damn much. They're the stars in my obscure life, cheering me on. They turn my world right side up.

This outing is cathartic. I want to spend every waking moment for the next three months with them and imbue every precious moment in my lucidity.

A meteor breaking up in the Earth’s atmosphere on Sept. 30, 2011



---




Ingrid Michaelson's new single. She's magical. Would have uploaded the lyrics music video but it is not available in Singapore. Excited for the full release of this album. It's going to be really good.



(isn't she beautiful?)

"Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can. "

— Practical Magic (1998)

Dreamt of being back with the sweet kiddos last night + hanging out with the best friend. I love it :)

When she said she was in denial, I thought she was joking. It was only after that I realised (too late) the extent of truth in that statement. I should have said something, anything. It didn't matter she was leaving, or that we might never meet again. Our lives have intertwined in a brief moment in history and that was more than I could have asked for.

She hugged me tight as she cried. "Thank you so much." The words rolled from the blade of my left shoulder down the clavicle and rested on my bosom. There was so much I wanted - felt like I needed to - say.



I love you.



Thank you.



Please don't cry.



At least we've met.



I'm beyond grateful.



Don't forget me.



I won't forget you.



Let's keep in touch.



Thank you.



I love you.




Instead, I embraced her tighter, not trusting myself to speak, not trusting myself to feel.